From the diary of a globe-trotting young cinema queen:
MONDAY: The Captain saw me on deck and was kind enough to ask me to sit at his table for the rest of the trip.
TUESDAY: I spent the morning on the bridge with the Captain. He took my picture leaning against the “Passengers not allowed on this bridge” sign.
WEDNESDAY: The Captain made proposals to me, unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.
THURSDAY: The Captain threatened to sink the ship unless I agreed to his proposals.
FRIDAY: I saved eight hundred lives today.
